Thoughtless

I have been teaching at a local state university for over a year now. Most of the students like me. And overall, I have been getting positive feedback. But I am not in good health at all, nor am I happy as I have been when I was unemployed and loafing around. Many things have happened, my serious relationship of many years has collapsed and I have been financially duped by long-time friends. I have been enjoying spending my money from some successful “business” transactions I had and now find myself swimming in debt. When I had money, I neglected making time with friends. Classic tale. I thought I’d never do such things when I had money – I would not boast or show off and would share my financial success with the people I cared about. But I never did any of that, sadly. And now I find myself in the situation I am in now. I have nothing in my name except debts. I am not totally depressed though, I still have my two lovely daughters who love me very much. I don’t really know what to write at this moment. I just want to vent out my thoughts. I have been thoughtless for a while and maybe it was what led me to this demise. I hope I can recover. I’ve never thought I’d get to a point where I’d wonder what I’ve done with my life. I haven’t put much thought into it. I am not losing hope, I will recover from this dilemma. I have always gone through life alone and did decently. Over the years, I have learned that while we are capable of achieving success independently, it is much better to achieve success interdependently. I actually know where to start to recover, so at least I have that. I just hope I’ll live long enough to recover from this and actually get results.